


Again

by EHyde



Series: Hiryuu Castle is Full of Time Portals [5]
Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Gen, Time Travel, Two Suwons, but only because of the time travel, reference to a crackship from a different fic in this series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 04:25:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14347917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EHyde/pseuds/EHyde
Summary: When Suwon accidentally trades places with his past self, he finds himself reliving the days leading up to the night he killed King Il. Given the opportunity to change what happened, will he?





	Again

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in the same AU as my other time travel fics, but it stands alone.

When Suwon feels the familiar tug of Hiryuu Castle’s time portals, it's already too late. Upon his ascension, he'd made a promise never to visit the past again. He's learned much over the years, from eras both distant and more recent, but as Kouka's king, it was time to put the past behind him and look to the future...or not. He wouldn't have chosen to step through this portal, but he's in the past now, with no way to return home other than to let things take their course. A day or two, maybe less. The portals have always sent him home in due time. 

Suwon smiles to himself. In his previous visits, he was always a student, learning from the great rulers and generals of the past. Now here he is, fresh from his own victory, one step closer to restoring Kouka to that past glory. Would history’s greats be proud of him? One man, in particular, surely would…

Now, when exactly has he found himself? If he's already here, there's no point containing his curiosity, after all. The palace is similar to the one he knows—almost too similar. The portals have never taken him anywhere so recent, but is it possible? Could he meet—? Then a familiar young man rounds the corner and Suwon’s eyes widen. This is the recent past, yes—far, far too recent.

“Lord Suwon!” Minsu’s broad smile almost hurts to see. “We weren’t expecting you this early. Shall I tell Princess Yona you’re here?”

“No, don’t—!” He takes a deep breath and composes himself. “I came early to do some business in the city,” he improvises. “Don’t tell Yona, she’ll only be disappointed I can’t spend time with her yet.” Minsu accepts this easily; Suwon has done this before.

He leaves the palace straight away. If he were to see them now…  _ You can change things, _ his mind whispers to him, and  _ why not? _ he wants to answer. It’s not as if he believes in some grand plan. Still he leaves. With a portal to this era, he could find himself trying to make things right forever, if he lets himself. This is why he chose to look only forward.

“Oh! Excuse me.” Ah. Perhaps he should take  _ looking forward _ literally, too. “Wait. You...I…”  _ That voice.  _ Suwon looks up. The man he bumped into is...himself.

“What are you doing here?” he asks. “You’re not expected for another week.”

“I...came early, to take care of some business in the city…” Of course. He’s done this before, after all. “But I should be the one asking you that question.”

“I discovered a new portal.” His younger self nods in understanding—he’s been exploring Hiryuu Castle’s time portals for years—but still there’s a question in his eyes. “Purely by accident. I don’t intend to make a habit of this.” 

The younger Suwon looks over the elder, taking stock of his appearance. “You’re king,” he says, eyes falling on his golden hair cuff. “How long has it been?”

“Eight months, perhaps?”

“Such a narrow portal! Well, come with me, I know a place—” He breaks off in laughter. “And so do you!”

Together they walk to a quiet inn where they know they won’t be disturbed. “Tell me everything,” says the younger man. 

Of course he would ask. And of course he’ll tell. “I don’t remember this,” he begins. “Meeting my older self. History is changing already.”

His younger self shakes his head. “History hasn’t happened yet,” he replies, and Suwon nods.

“Well then.” The coup must be on his mind. It’s only two weeks away, isn’t it? But he finds himself reluctant to bring it up immediately. “The most important piece I have to tell you is about General Sujin’s rebellion…”

They go over everything, or nearly. Still he doesn’t ask about the coup, and finally, Suwon can’t stand it. “Yona will be all right,” he reassures his younger self.

“...yes? None of this has anything to do with her.” His eyes widen has he abruptly remembers—Yona was never supposed to see. “Did—did something happen to her?”

“...he’s her father, of course she’ll be affected.”

“No, it’s more than that, I can see it,” he insists. “What happened?”

What should he say? He can warn himself to be more careful...if he wants the outcome to change. But what he’d thought he wanted for them—for Yona and Hak to go on all unknowing—would that really have been better?

And the other way to avoid hurting them isn’t even an option. Il has to die.

“Tell me,” his younger self insists again.

“Yona saw,” he reluctantly admits. “She knows.”

“Then I’ll make sure she doesn’t this time.”

“And then what? I know you haven’t really thought about that.” Because  _ he  _ hadn’t. 

The younger Suwon is silent for a while. “Tell me,” he finally asks. “Does it feel as good as it should? Vengeance.”

“It feels...over.” And that will have to be enough.

His past self looks down. “That will have to be enough, he says, reminding Suwon that they really are the same person. Then he looks up again, into Suwon’s eyes, and opens his mouth to speak, but no sound comes—he’s flickering out of sight.  _ That was quick, _ Suwon thinks, before he realizes—the other Suwon is the  _ only _ thing that’s flickering. The world isn’t shifting around him as it sends him back to his own time, it’s...sending his younger self back instead.

“Wait!” he cries out, but it’s too late. He’s alone.

He sits there frozen for nearly an hour, thinking  _ surely the timeline will sort itself out. _ It always does. But nothing happens. He remains here, in the past, and—they were so close to the same person, is that why?—and he never even told his younger self where to find the portal.

Finally, he stands up. He’s not expected in the palace for a week, and he has business in the city.

The week passes. His other self hasn’t returned, and he knows he’ll have to take his place. If he doesn’t...he could change the future so much he might jeapordize his very existence. And when his future self is really his past self...no, he has to go back. Has to see them again. Has to smile at Yona and tell her how much she’s grown (and oh, how much she  _ will _ grow still), has to laugh with Hak as they compare their skill. He knew what was coming the first time around—why does this hurt so much more?

Hak tells him he’ll gladly serve him as king and he knows,  _ knows _ he can’t do it. Can’t let them stay here unknowing, not when he’s seen Yona’s frozen tears and felt Hak’s bloody thirst for vengeance. He can live with many things, but not with that lie.

But he also can’t let them go, and he finds himself wondering the unthinkable.

He goes to Il the night before Yona’s sixteenth birthday. “Uncle, I know we have not always seen eye to eye. And what I’m about to tell you may be hard to believe. But there are ways of connecting the past to the future—”

“So she did tell you, in the end.”

Suwon blinks. “You know.”

“I followed your mother once, after one of her secret rendezvous with King Hiryuu. Hmm,” he frowns to himself. “And she agreed you were never to know.”

_ Mother knew _ followed by  _ Il tried to keep this from me?  _ followed by  _ Hiryuu. What? _

“Now, I thought I’d made it clear to you that Hiryuu has nothing to do with you.”

Now Suwon is just irritated. “This isn’t about the past. It’s about the future. I could let Father rest for Yona’s sake, but your obsession with that ancient king is going to get our country killed. I’ve seen what will happen. I know what can be done—”

“No. My daughter is Hiryuu. You are not.” And his face makes it clear that nothing more will be said.

_ What just happened?  _ It’s clear they were talking past each other, Il so sure he already knew what Suwon was saying. Just what did he think he knew?

Mother knew about the time portals. Mother had met with  _ Hiryuu _ . And Il thought  _ he _ wanted to be Hiryuu—?

_ No. Impossible! _ But even if it were true—  _ Does he really think I’ve forgotten what he did to Yuhon? _ Did Il think it  _ didn’t matter? _ A scream of frustration escapes him into the empty night. There will be no compromise with King Il, nor does he ever wish there to be.

The hairpin was Mother’s. She told him it was a gift. Suwon supposes it’s only fitting that Yona have it now.

He waits until the last possible minute in the place the the portal left him, still hoping against hope that his younger self will return from the future and do what is rightly his to do. What will happen if they never trade places again? He’ll live through all those months again, until...what? The portal opens, dooming him to repeat this night yet again? Is this what has come of traveling history so freely up until now?

Is this what comes of being born of two different eras?

It’s time. “You made a mistake,” he says to Il. “This was never about Hiryuu. This is for my father. For Yuhon.” What did he say the first time? Does it matter? Yona walks in, and it’s like watching someone else. The words he chooses won’t make a difference yet he has to say something, and he’s almost grateful when Keishuk and the soldiers chase her away.

At least nothing is on fire this time.

“You—it’s tonight?” Suwon had thought himself alone in the king’s chamber. Who—? He looks up. “I finally found the portal again. We can—” His younger self freezes at the sight of blood spattered on Suwon’s robes.

“I’ve killed him twice now,” Suwon says. “You won’t remember it at all. How—?”

“Yona. Hak.”

“Yona ran…”

“Clean yourself up,” his younger self commands. “I’ll go after her.”

“No, wait—!” But he’s already gone. The other man doesn’t know what happened, won’t know the right things to say—but Suwon can’t let himself be seen, not now. Powerless, he watches from an empty guard tower.

This is wrong. Hak and Yona are supposed to get away. If he’d thought they couldn’t he would have done more to change things! Where is Minsu? Why is his past self just letting this happen?

_ Because I told him Yona would be fine.  _ He grabs a bow from the guard tower’s weapons rack. It’s a cheap distraction, poorly aimed, but it’s enough.

“I’m sorry,” his other self when they find each other again, when they’re alone together, when it’s quiet. “I don’t know why it took me instead of you.”

“Because we’re the same.” Or because they don’t belong in any one time in the first place. “But what’s done is done.” And that trite phrase will never hold true again, either.

“Well, hopefully you’ll be the one to go back this time. I don’t think anyone suspected—what would they even suspect?—but there were things I just—”

“What happened?”

“The Water Tribe’s daughter, are we really together? Everyone seemed to think so…”

“What? No, that’s—”

“Ah, good. She was kidnapped by Sei—but she’s safe now. Oh, and Sei will become Kouka’s vassal state. We didn’t even need to deploy the army.” He says that like it’s a good thing. “And Hak...Judo tried to kill him, even after he helped us. Have things really become like that?”  _ He helped…? _ “I would have kept them out of it, I know I would have. What changed, between me and you?”

“...and you came straight back here and had to draw a sword against him. I’m sorry.”  _ Not sorry enough, _ says the look in his eyes. “Someday you’ll understand.”

“...and you?” he finally asks after a sigh of reluctant acceptance. “Did everything go according to plan? Did anything change at all?”

_ Nothing and everything.  _ “No,” he tells himself firmly. “Nothing has changed.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you'd like more context for what happened between Hiryuu and Suwon's mother, that can be found in [What We Make.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9808532/chapters/22024820) I'm [fallenwithstyle](https://fallenwithstyle.tumblr.com) on tumblr if you'd like to come say hi.


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